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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in thelonelywolf's LiveJournal:

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    Thursday, July 28th, 2005
    3:58 pm
    love,hate and anger
    well saturday im going to go see my dad at the corcoran state prison i dont know how long the visit is or what i will say a part of me wants to strangle him for everything hes done i mean i love him just do to the fact that hes my dad, but i hate him for what hes done and im angry that i dont have a father type figure in my life when ive needed it most, im so scard to go up there and see him, my grandma is mad at me becuase im seeing him she dosent want me too but im 19 years old and i can make my own chooses. some of the reasons im going up there is to find out for myself if hes changed for better or worse i dont know i wont find out untill i do i need to know for myself if hes changed. hes in for drugs and 2 counts of molestation my sister and my cousin robin, everyone i will neeed you all very soon to be there or just lend an ear when this is all over please keep your fingers crossed and wish me luck,i just hope i dont loose it. plus things with gracie arnt going very well we fight all the time now even over the little things and it feels like our love is fading why dose shit like that have to happen am i supposed not to have anyone im so lost, i cant find my way, im confused and tired whats worng with me?

    Current Mood: cold
    Current Music: creek marys blood-nightwish
    Thursday, July 14th, 2005
    7:31 pm
    well
    hey guys well tomarrow i turn 19 wow big fucking deal i have never liked my birthdays they have all been horrible my dad choose my brother on my 15 one my 16 i was grounded over something completely stupid 17 and 18 i have done nothing but lay around and sleep allday. my 14th was by far the best ive ever had my good buddys jerry joe mark elvis and myself did shit all day lunch bowling movies partyed it was good and all of the 13 and below i was forgoton about yelled at, grounded, hit,smaked so just to let yall know i may or may not be here tomarrow need me call my cell i miss you all very much
    wolf
    Thursday, July 7th, 2005
    10:27 pm
    hi
    well guys nothing is going right im bored out of my mind just thinking of you guys.
    i will be 19 july 15 which is in a week i cant belive it i dont look forward to it becase i feel something will go very worng just like all of my birthdays before hand so i think i will just stay home. but i hope to her form you guys love all of you
    andrew
    Saturday, June 11th, 2005
    12:18 pm
    im done
    well guys ive walked it was a nice ceramony at the chaffys auditorium all my family came and my girlfriends family was thereand then we had a party afterwards i love and miss you all call me sometime
    Thursday, May 26th, 2005
    10:38 pm
    finally my fight is over or has it just begun
    well guys its finally over ive finshed high school so what do i do know i have many options but i dont know what to do but for all of you i miss you and wish all of you well but know my fight is finally over thanks to all of you who gave me advice or guidence it means alot to me

    Current Mood: awake
    Current Music: legacy of kings by hammerfall
    Thursday, May 5th, 2005
    12:27 am
    i feel alone
    yea i know its been awhile but i feel so lonely right know its not even funny
    i went outside about 11.30pm and smoked a cigar trying to clear my head and i have so much going on
    i want to do so much but im worried about graduation , my mom , and my realtionships with my friends
    i miss all of you so much and i hope to talk and see each and every one of you , tati, olivia, tashia, britt b, brit m,amanda,christa,chrissy,rachel,stephiane,kristen,maddie, you guys or girls i should say have had an good influence with each of you and ive learned things about myself i would never have discoverd about me, and i want to say thank you for everything the time and laughs we shard i will never forget the good times and the bad but i just wanted to get that off my chest ,
    for once in my life im scared what will i do when i get out of high school and not haveing anyone by my side,
    i mean dont get me worng things are going ok but there are certine bonds between freinds that lovers wont ever understand, and i will always hold you girls dear to my heart and know if i can ever help out even if it means you just need to be held and have someone to listen to you know that i will always do at least that if at all nothing ealse
    love all of you
    wolf
    Wednesday, February 9th, 2005
    10:13 pm
    i just wanted to say hello everybody and thanks for replying i know this may sound a little werid but i love you all and miss you terribly , i hope to talk to you soon im doing good i just got enrolled in nightschool tuesday and thrusday and i am on my way to graduation so just wanted to give you a heads up
    talk to you soon ill keep you posted on whats up
    love you miss you
    wolf
    Thursday, February 3rd, 2005
    10:00 pm
    another lonely hour
    i sit here and think of what is going on in my life i mean things are going ok im doing good in school my love life is good but when it comes to my freinds i dont hardly see them anymore too all who read this post a reply tell me you ok and doing good tell me on what ive missed out on what ever it is tell me god if there really is a god i miss all of my freinds brittney b, brittney m, tatiana, oli, rachel, everyone i miss you so
    very much i wish to see you all soon or sometime i love you all and miss you all

    always wolf
    Monday, October 4th, 2004
    9:30 pm
    hey
    hey guys whats going on nothing much here just same shit different day
    i want everyone to read this and tell me what you think !

    Allah or Jesus? By Rick Mattes
    >
    >Last month I attended my annual training session that's required for
    >maintaining my state prison security clearance.
    >During the training session there was a presentation by three speakers
    >representing the Roman Catholic, Protestant, and Muslim faiths, who
    >explained each of their belief systems.
    >
    >I was particularly interested in what the Islamic Imam had to say. The
    Imam
    >gave a great presentation of the basics of Islam, complete with a
    video.
    >After the presentations, time was provided for questions and answers.
    >When it was my turn, I directed my question to the Imam and asked:
    "Please,
    >correct me if I'm wrong, but I understand that most Imams and clerics
    of
    >Islam have declared a holy jihad [Holy war] against the infidels of the
    >world.
    >And, that by killing an infidel, which is a command to all Muslims,
    they
    >are
    >assured of a place in heaven. If that's the case, can you give me the
    >definition of an infidel?"
    >
    >There was no disagreement with my statements and, without hesitation,
    he
    >replied, "Non-believers!" I responded, "So, let me make sure I have
    this
    >straight. All followers of Allah have been commanded to kill everyone
    who
    >is
    >not of your faith so they can go to Heaven. Is that correct?"
    >
    >The expression on his face changed from one of authority and command to
    >that
    >of a little boy who had just gotten caught with his hand in the cookie
    jar.
    >He sheepishly replied, "Yes."
    >
    >I then stated, "Well, sir, I have a real problem trying to imagine Pope
    >John
    >Paul commanding all Catholics to kill those of your faith or Dr.
    Stanley
    >ordering Protestants to do the same in order to go to Heaven!"
    >
    >The Imam was speechless. I continued, "I also have a problem with
    being
    >your
    >friend when you and your brother clerics are telling your followers to
    kill
    >me. Let me ask you one more question. Would you rather have your Allah
    who
    >tells you to kill me in order to go to Heaven, or my Jesus who tells me
    to
    >love you because I am going to Heaven and He wants you to be there,
    too?"
    >
    >You could have heard a pin drop as the Imam hung his head in shame.
    >Needless to say, the organizers and/or promoters of the
    'Diversification'
    >training seminar were not happy with Rick's way of dealing with the
    Islamic
    >Imam and exposing the truth about the Muslim's beliefs.
    >
    >I think everyone in the U.S. should be required to read this, but with
    the
    >liberal justice system, liberal media, and the ACLU, there is no way
    this
    >will
    >be widely publicized.

    this story got to me but i cant stand muslims they make me nervous
    Thursday, September 30th, 2004
    10:45 pm
    some how i feel empty
    whats going on with me i have a empty feeling in my heart and soul where am i going what do i wanna do. these are a few questions i want answerd i know that i am loved , by a few but its more like a falling apart freindship. my moms gone shes still in missiouri i swear i will never forgive her for that but it was my choice what more could i have done, im all alone at my grandmas house im staying at a friends right know becuase im just sick of feeling lonely sometimes , i started smoking agine why i dont know i just did i got to depressed and bam there i go, im a very light smoker not a heavy one if anyones concerd.

    i finnally got to talk to my friend sky today man it was good hereing from here and brittney you too ive missed all of you i miss the good old days i miss being around everyone even if it did annoy me a little its just so quite . anywho about my friend sky shes cool she lives in kentucky , likes cartoons and coolaid and shes just so fun to talk to on the phone, i like her , i met her online in a chat room and she became my friend i wont forget the night she asked me to call her just to see what my voice sounds like oh man we talked for like almost two hours. but hey i enjoyed it . shes also a lunearian (moonlight skin) but hey i think ive seid enough,

    Current Mood: cold
    Thursday, September 23rd, 2004
    12:57 am
    you have an eye but wheres your heart
    i swear im going to go nuts , im sitting there at school today and some how we got onto the subject of looks i dont like the way i look im not cute or hansome or whatever it is people use she tells me i am im confused? what is it that people can see with there eyes but not there heart , maybe its just me but im hanging in there one day at a time im thinking about what i want to do and all but i just sit there lost in my own thoughts like the seas are in front of me and i can choose two paths and i have my own to feet to walk on but what direction to go in thats the key . talk about some werid ass dream huh plus im haveing reacurring nightmears about the past still i thought i let go long ago i did everything but greave but whats there to cry about what is there to set that emoition free ?????

    Current Mood: distressed
    Current Music: ThunderStone "sea of sorrow"
    Saturday, September 18th, 2004
    12:42 am
    whats going on
    i cant belive my fucking brother acting like gregs beating him but josh only told one side of the story, but it amazing how much i miss them. but i dont have much of a life right now, i never have i miss everytone and anything i used to do sorry all i just dont know what to do im so confused about things and i havent sleept do to reacurring nightmears of my past , why cant the past just leave me alone i dont want anything to do with it anymore i dont care about my past hell i cant change it ive left anything and everyone behind thats ment anything to me now is where i live not then. to anyone who still looks at these wright anything just let me here form you let me know everythings ok or what not just prove to me you havent abbonded me or forgotton me ive always tried to be there when anyones needed me, and yea i might not always be the one to turn to but im still around
    Thursday, August 26th, 2004
    9:26 pm
    new music
    im sitting here listing to a banc called nightwish and they kick ass but im going to expand my music i still dont like rap and i wont ever like rap but my bands wise im going to expand these are some of the bands i like Bon Jovi,Rammstein,Queen,Ottmar liebert
    metallica,Sound garden,savage garden,yasunori mitsuda,red hot chilly peppers,santana,robin williams,mega death,mudvane,jimi hendrix,judas priest,led zepplin,aero smith,Iron maiden
    Dire straights,collective soul.Destiny,Zyko,blink 182,eagles
    Linkin Park,System of a down,Acdc,Beethoven,DefLeppard Foreigner,Boston,Rob Zombie,Meat loaf,Phil Colliens
    Guns and Roses,Motley crue,MatchBox 20,Poison,Skid Row,Twisted sister,White lion,Staind,Adam sandler,Creed,Disturbed,Eminem
    Audioslave,Chevelle,Godsmack ,Foo fighters,kid rock,korn
    sublime,scorpions,Limp Bizkit,huey lewis,VAN HELSING:ALAN SILVESTRI ,Pink Floyd,Alice and Chains,panteara,acid bath,Nightwish, Inflames ,Oasis,acoustic syndicate just to name a few i miss all of you fuys and havent herd form anyone lately call me wright me do sometime but let me know how you all are doing
    Monday, August 23rd, 2004
    12:02 am
    another lonely night
    just another lonly and boreing night got no where to go and no where to be and i find out as soon as i graduate my grandma might make me leave!!!! what did i do i help out i buy grociers give her money for gas if she needs it sense ive been here ive keept her company i have a job not a very good one but at least ive got one i plan on graduating this year then going to communtity college and then to a trade school so i can get my bacholors degree in a few things i want to go somewhere in life i want a steady girlfreind not no breif fling not no three months i want a life of my own and i will do what i can to accomplish my goal and i will graduate this year if it kills me

    Current Mood: worried
    Current Music: metal gear solid may fortune smile upon you
    Wednesday, August 18th, 2004
    1:01 am
    i wish i could understand
    you know its funny how life treats you how people treat you and what not but ive been freinds with a few people and there life has taken a turn for the worst and yet no one has called me no one has stopped by i am there for you girls you know it and as long as i live her i will be i dont live that far away if you want to talk or just need someone a shoulder to cry on or just someone to listen im here isnt that what a freind dose for another freind i just feel left out the only way i find anything out anymore is by reading these journals so what am i to do i may not understand everything but i can understand somethings with love and best of luck
    andrew
    wolf
    Friday, August 6th, 2004
    2:11 am
    its funny how things are on the web ya know i just met a 19 year old collage stundent named rachel liveing in kentucky and she wants to hear my voice isnt that werid?
    Wednesday, August 4th, 2004
    10:47 pm
    tired
    well i just got off work and man am i tired i only wish that i made more money, i got a what they call a pay card but im not going to use it ill just let it accumulate then switch accounts , i feel a little strange tonight not like my normal self but somehow a little different but it might be due to the fact that i havent sleept in three days
    2:43 pm
    finally
    i just couldnt belive it on newgrounds.com theres a flash cartoon called moonlight it was great i swear the person who made it must have been thinking like me because its almost like the last chapter of my book only a few differences i didnt use a centure or a evil king and it wasnt about his fallen brothers it was about his family and closest friend but i sat back even the music was great but i still cant find the old orcastrated music like what they use in excaliber or in the very end of moonlight, well i got to get ready for work how fun (yea right)
    Thursday, July 29th, 2004
    12:56 am
    insomia sucks balls
    i cant sleep i sit here and listen to Chrono Cross Remixs and think, i was just asleep hafe an hour ago i dont know why the valarian dosent work i was fine happyly asleep and now ill be awake until like three of four in the morning damn insomia , i was tested when i was four and had it ever sense then. i mean ive taken pills to help me sleep but none of them ever work long enough i was talking diaspam which is a very strong tranqulizer but it stoped working ive tried all sorts of over the counter stuff, and nothing ever works.
    but other than that my day was good boring but good
    Brittney B stoped by my house this afternoon, man it was great to see her, then she had to go a few mintues later but it was cool. at about 6:30 me and my aunt ,uncle and my grandma went to this golden china place over by walmart its like a big all you can eat good price range too. got home and i went to bed , that was at nine and now im awake so other than this it was fine.

    Current Mood: restless
    Current Music: Chrono Cross Remix times scar
    Saturday, July 24th, 2004
    11:47 am
    you people make me laugh
    honestly ive know you guys for a while and frankly you all make me laugh, i wonder if brit called you guys crying or saying what bad things i did to her, HA what a joke!i happen to like america thank you very much i couldnt give a rats ass about anyother contry, i never seid anything about cutting or anything like that but youll belive miss blondie and i know this, so It Dosent bother me and do you think i would let any of you girls close enough to me to tie me up and cut off my dick YA RIGHT IN YOUR WILDEST DREAMS, frankly If you want to know the truth it was brit m who started that not me But Belive and do what you want at least i know if anything happends i know who did it, ive made a few freinds in the right places so im not worryed , i think the best thing to do is walk our sepreat ways , AND I WOULDNT THINK OF LOOKING BACK ITS ALL JUST SO FUCKING HILORIOUS
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